Thursday, September 13, 2007

Why yes, I own this establishment (Part 2)

Part Two of Colonel K as bar owner series!

I'm actually more enthusiastic about numbers 51-100 because the selection is a lot more fun. I feel as though this half of the list includes the albums that would really get a party started. Outkast, Kraftwerk, James Brown, The Jam...they're all present and accounted for.

Sadly, some people didn't like 1-50. One commenter stated:

"But may I suggest you reserve 30 or so of the remaining places for the biggest selling album of each year since 1977. While this may mean you'll be forced to grudgingly purchase albums by the likes of Garth Brooks, it will save you alot of grief from customers not quite accustomed to the off-key caterwauling of the Mars Volta."

I couldn't help but chuckle (and then frown) when I read this. But rather than go into a lengthy rant, I'm going to put it very simply.
I chose these albums for MY fantasy jukebox for the following reasons:
a) These discs than adequately reflect my taste
b) They would attract a clientele that does not view music as wallpaper or background noise.
b) I don't care for Garth Brooks.

Besides, almost none of these albums would count as abraisive or difficult. Some of them may be loud (Slayer, the Jesus and Mary Chain, PIL), but there's nothing tuneless or difficult.

51. At the Drive In “Relationship of Command”
52. Iron Maiden “Number of the Beast”
53. Slayer “Reign in Blood”
54. The Cure “Pornography”
55. James Brown “Live at the Apollo 1962”
56. Three Six Mafia “Most Known Hits”
57. Fela Kuti “Zombie”
58. ABBA “Gold”
59. Gangstarr “Moment of Truth”
60. Ultramagnetic MCs “Critical Beatdown”
61. Portishead “Dummy”
62. De La Soul “3 Feet high and Rising”
63. Peter Gabriel “3 (aka Melt)”
64. Mos Def & Talib Kweli are BlackStar
65. Paul McCartney “Ram”
66. The Pale Fountains “Pacific Street”
67. Gang of Four “Entertainment!”
68. Outkast “ATLiens”
69. Fleetwood Mac “Rumors”
70. U2 “Achtung Baby”
71. Operation Ivy “Operation Ivy”
72. Daft Punk “Daft Punk”
73. RJD2 “Dead Ringer”
74. Notorius BIG “Ready to Die”
75. New Order “Substance”
76. Morrissey “Viva Hate”
77. Madvillian “Madvillany”
78. Lou Reed “Transformer”
79. Kraftwerk “Computer World”
80. The Feelies “Crazy Rhythms”
81. Dead Kennedys “Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables”
82. Neu! “Neu!”
83. Can “Tago Mago”
84. The Jam “Greatest Hits”
85. The Jesus and Mary Chain “Darklands”
86. The Last Poets “The Last Poets”
87. The Rapture “Echoes”
88. Les Savy Fav “Inches”
89. Ladytron “604”
90. Public Image Ltd. “Metal Box”
91. Ride “Nowhere”
92. Rolling Stones “Some Girls”
93. Serge Gainsbourg “Melody Nelson”
94. Suede “Suede”
95. Blur “Think Tank”
96. Oasis “(What’s the Story?) Morning Glory”
97. The Zombies “Odessy and Oracle”
98. Fela Kuti “ITT”
99. Black Uhuru “Sinsemlia”
100.Steely Dan “Aja”

Monday, September 10, 2007

Why yes, I own this establishment (Part 1)

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Top five dream jobs

1. Music Journalist
2. Staff reporter for major center-left newspaper e.g. New York Times or The Guardian or Le Monde
3. College professor (teaching modern European history)
4. Musician
5. Store owner (music store, unisex boutique, bar or nightclub)

Wonderland, which is located in a leafy section of DC’s Columbia Heights, remains one of the few bars that doesn't make me feel anxious or very, very annoyed. Its well-stocked jukebox makes it the ideal environment for posting up and getting away from your troubles. I was having a drink there this past spring when I decided to draft a list of 100 CDs that I’d want in the jukebox at my bar. For a number of reasons, I never got around to finishing this list.

You know, it is rather unfortunate that I have developed a serious dislike of American customer service. I don’t like the idea of service with a smile because I’ve never been paid a respectable wage to do it. A moody young man such as myself probably wouldn’t make much money in the service industry. Nonetheless, I still dream of the day that I could own a bar, this way it wouldn’t mater how I behaved at work, I’d be the boss!
Until that day comes, this list will remain a fantasy. Oh well.

1. The Clash “Combat Rock”
2. Depeche Mode “Violator”
3. Os Mutantes “A Divina Com├ędia Ou Ando Meio Desligado”
4. The Smiths “Meat is Murder”
5. Joy Division “Closer”
6. The Faint “Blank Wave Arcade”
7. John Coltrane “A Love Supreme”
8. The Pixies “Bossanova”
9. Echo & The Bunnymen “Ocean Rain”
10. Souls of Mischief “93 Till Infinity”
11. T.Rex “Electric Warrior”
12. The Beatles “Revolver”
13. Spacemen 3 “Perfect Prescription”
14. The Brian Jonestown Massacre “Give it Back”
15. The Dandy Warhols “Come Down”
16. Pink Floyd “Animals”
17. Happy Mondays “Bummed”
18. Minor Threat “Complete Discography”
19. The Meatmen “Studpowercock: The Touch and Go Years”
20. Roxy Music “For Your Pleasure”
21. Jay-Z “The Blueprint”
22. J-Dilla Donuts”
23. King Gheedorah “Take Me To Your Leader”
24. A Tribe Called Quest “The Low End Theory”
25. Duran Duran “Rio”
26. Upsetters “Double Seven”
27. Talking Heads “Fear of Music”
28. Orange Juice “Rip It Up ”
29. Japan “Tin Drum”
30. Primal Scream “Screamadelica”
31. Wire “Chairs Missing”
32. Wu-Tang Clan “Enter the Wu-36 Chambers”
33. Ghostface Killah “Supreme Clientele”
34. Guided By Voices “Alien Lanes”
35. Supergrass “Supergrass is 10”
36. DJ Shadow “Endtroducing”
37. Felt “Absolute Classic Masterpieces Vol 1”
38. British Sea Power “The Decline of British Sea Power”
39. Brian Eno “Here Come The Warm Jets”
40. Boogie Down Productions “Criminal Minded”
41. Television “Marquee Moon”
42. Love “Forever Changes”
43. The Misfits “Collection One”
44. Q and Not U “Different Damage”
45. Stevie Wonder “Songs in The Key of Life”
46. Grace Jones “Nightclubbin’”
47. Pavement “Terror Twighlight”
48. David Bowie “Scary Monsters”
49. Stereolab “Transient Random-Noise Bursts With Announcements”
50. TV on the Radio “Return to Cookie Mountain”

(Part two coming at the end of this week)

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

It's A Celebration, Bitches: Ryan O'Neil and 100dBs Album Release Party

When 100dBs told me that he was going to complete an album with Ryan O'Neil in exactly one year, I couldn't help but roll my eyes and snicker. After all, this was a man who was notorious for his flagrant refusal to adhere to any sort of deadline. While he was "working" on Brenner's Breaks Vol. 1, he would disappear for hours on end, only to return and continue evading his duties by watching an entire season of Home Movies or The State. As a result, BBV1, which was slated for release in early summer 2006, wasn't available until February 2007.
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Thankfully (and surprisingly), moving to New York City has allowed 100dBs to settle into a quieter and more productive lifestyle. In a similar change of pace, Ryan O'Neil has whole-heartedly devoted himself to the grind of an up and coming MC. Or, as he once put it, "no more wasting time and money on unnecessary goods and or pointless bullshit." The end result of their collective sacrifice and newly found time-management skills is The Adventures of the One Hand Bandit and Slum Computer Wizard.

But this essay isn't about the album, the production, the rhymes, Prince Po's guest spot or even the artwork....It's about the party.

Antique Lounge is located in the downstairs of China 1, a popular East Village nightspot. This particular venue is popular with Theory Events because of the friendly staff, fine facilities and prime location. When I heard that the album release party was going to be hosted there, I realized that the boys were 100% serious about celebrating in style.

You know what, I had planned on wearing a blazer or something fly to the event, but I had to change my plans upon checking the weekend forecast for NYC. Besides, my travel companions Pat "P-Diddy" Dulany and Gabby already had the grown and sexy fashion angle covered.
As the new album blasted over the PA, people began crowd into the dimly lit basement. I was more than pleased to see friends from the suburbs, University of Maryland, Jersey and Brooklyn. And as an added bonus, the families of both artists were in attendance. As mushy as it sounds, you couldn't help but notice them beaming with pride and joy.
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Around 11pm, most of the crowd moved into next room, where they were treated to DJ sets by 100dBs and It's Overture (as well as a special late night performance by Ryan). Thanks to the $20 open bar, my memories of the night are a bit fuzzy. So rather than attempt to piece together the stories, I'll let you examine the photos yourself.
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Support good music:BUY THE ALBUM HERE



All the best,
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Colonel K